Dear Straight Arrows:
I have been using Mane ‘n Tail™ Shampoo for the past 3 months. I bought a bottle of it at Caldor. It was on sale for $5.99. Believe me, I am talking to you “straight” when I tell you that it is one tremendous bargain. It lasts and lasts.
I have been following the directions carefully. I use the bucket and sponge to apply the solution to my hair every morning. It doesn’t smell as good as my previous shampoo (Prell), but the results are worth it. My hair is thick and full of lustre, which is a good thing, because I find myself tossing my head in quick jerks, snorting while I do it. This sort of involutary tic has developed progressively over the past month. I have consulted a neurologist, who has done CAT scans and MRI tests and has found no cause for it.
What I have been wondering is, since this shampoo was originally developed for horses, is it possible that using it regularly leads to equine characteristics? Do people begin to eat more Quaker Oats, Cheerios, oat bran muffins? Do they calculate by stamping their feet?
I know you will be “straight” when you answer my question. Don’t worry, I am not planning to sue you or anything like that. After all, how stupid I would look in the National Enquirer—"Man morphs into horse!!" But I am worried about it, and I would appreciate an answer from you.
I do have one suggestion for you so you can sell more Mane ‘n Tail™ Shampoo and make more money. You need a spokesman. May I suggest none other than Mr. Ed. First of all, he has a beautiful palomino mane and tail. Second, he talks, so he could do the commercial himself. Or, even better, you could hire Farrah Fawcett to sit on Mr. Ed’s back. She, too, has a beautiful mane and tail, and her facial structure is kind of horsey, too. You could even have Farrah and Mr. Ed take a shampoo together. Wouldn’t that be great?!
I am not going to charge you for this suggestion. Anything I can do to make your wonderful product available to more people, I am happy to do for nothing. I would like it, though, if you would send me a Mane ‘n Tail™ Shampoo T-shirt, XL.
Trotting along,
Michael A. Ingall, M.D.
Michael A. Ingall